Under any circumstances.
Use a toggle bolt to scratch that 70-year anal itch.
Turns out that male episiotomies are more problematic than one would assume.
Apparently, sphincters don't hold stitches.
In related news, you'll be happy to know that I have hopped upon the Murse bandwagon - there's more than one way to cloak a colostomy.
Open Gap, Mississippi - Go!