Larry King Lines 2

[assfacerobot]

Speaking of bumps, snorting coke off of a Brazilian transsexual's tits wasn't as great as I'd hoped. They looked fine in the dress but unleashed they were hard as rocks and the scars were so bad, I couldn't get it up. I just had to suck her cock and get the hell out of there. My guest today is Condoleeza Rice, Klamath Falls, Oregon do you have a question?

[Furious D]

Let me tell you something, mixing up your astroglide with Vick's vapo-rub is not good. Not good at all. Fistup Utah, you're on with Kevin Pollak, and maybe you can tell me who he is.

[assfacerobot]

If you ever need a tongue up your sweaty, dirty ass, weddingdress_ryan is your man. My guest tonight was supposed to be Kathy Griffin, but she's lost the ability to speak. Here to thank god for that, Samm Levine. Buffalo Gap, Texas what is your question?

[Furious D]

It was July 4th, 1977. I had been attending a barbecue and fireworks show hosted by Stevie Wonder, and once I left Stevie at the burn unit I decided to go home.

My fifth wife and I had arrived home, we opened the door, and there was weddingdress_ryan, in my living room, in my wife's wedding dress, with my daughter's hamster, Mr. Scraps, wedged up his rectum in a cardboard tube. I could hear poor Mr. Scraps pleading in his little hamster language to be set free. So I called an expert to help.

It was a traumatic night for everyone. Especially Mr. Scraps, who never really recovered, emotionally that is, and a year later committed suicide by leaping into a toilet bowl with a string tied to the handle, and then he flushed himself.

*sniff*

Anyway, Thighsweat Alaska, do you have a question for Richard Gere?

[assfacerobot]

On tonight's show we have exclusive secretly-recorded video of Sarah Palin fucking John McCain in the ass with a strap-on. Was this a condition of agreeing to campaign for him to keep his seat in the Senate or is this just how Republicans say "Hey, long time no see." ? Later we'll try an in-studio re-enactment with me playing McCain and Meg White as Palin.

But first, to discuss Republican National Committee strip club junkets, Kirk Cameron. Ypsilanti, Michigan, you're on the air.

[Furious D]

During the war, I killed over 30 Germans with my bare hands.

The trouble was, it was the Vietnam War, and I was in Kentucky when I did it.

Lake Titicaca, do you have a question for Christopher Walken?

[assfacerobot]

I did a little time when I was younger. I made trusty after awhile and one of the jobs we had was to go out to the chicken coops and kill the chickens for dinner the first Sunday of every month. The guards would give us hatchets to lop off the chicken's heads with, but we'd just set the hatchets down as soon as we got inside. "How'd you kill the chickens?" you might ask. Well, there ain't no pussy in prison. Caller from Hogeye, Arkansas...you ever fuck a chicken?

[Furious D]

When I was young, I was an avid player of Dungeons & Dragons. Only back then both the dungeons and the dragons were real.

Lickitall Florida, do you have a question about North Korea for Chef Paul Prudhomme?

[Furious D]

I'm getting divorced for an 8th time. In my defense, I have to say that without my glasses I can't tell my wife and her sister apart.

Stickittin New Hampshire, do you have a question for my divorce lawyer.

[Graflan]

Divorce again, at least this time I don't have to pay to keep my testicles.....put that in the pre-nup.

Tillicum, Washington...speak to me